#1 Yelling at me for barking… I’M A DOG FOR DOG’S SAKE!!
#2 Taking me for a walk, but not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
#3 Blaming your farts on me…not ok!
#4 Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home 
#5 Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
#6 The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.#5 Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
#7 Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
#8 Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop, just stop!
#9 Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
#10 How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re just jealous.
Nevertheless, I am a dog. So I still love you!
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